Last night, while I was cooking my dinner, I was at the stove stirring and staring down at a pan of onions. As I was stirring them, I was amazed at how many pieces there were in the pan from just one onion. All the layers of the onion were cut up in front of me looking back. I then came to the realization that life in recovery is like an onion.
While living with ED, we are solely committed to him and him alone. We live for him and with him and do what he asks without question. There is no depth within us. Our entire being is consumed by Ed. However, when we begin to listen to recovery, break free from Ed and gain strength in ourselves and explore, we begin to find many pieces and many different layers of ourselves that we never experienced before.
In recovery we begin to find ourselves by beginning to find out what each layer is as we grow into our own being…our authentic self. Yes, it is scary and uncomfortable to try to figure out who we are, especially because we had Ed telling us what to do and what to like and not like, but figuring “us” out is the journey of life…life in recovery.
So, experience every feeling head on with an open mind and open heart and push yourself forward. Feel all the emotions and do all the things that come with each layer all with recovery leading the way. You will be amazed at what you will begin to see and feel…you will find your own opinion and your own voice.
Part of recovery is finding the many pieces and various layers that make up our “self.” So like the onion, peel back the layers of yourself and see what’s inside. From there you will find the real you… someone that matters and a life that’s worth living!
With hope, love, and strength,
Cheryl
